What is it "all" about? What I am asking is what is the BDsM lifestyle all about? Do you know? What are your beliefs about the lifestyle? Do you really want to know?
Do you really know? Have you studied, been mentored, taught, trained, have an open mind? Sorry to say that several records and surveys indicate that the answer is a resounding NO to many of these questions. So we get to the lifestyle by chance for most of us. We learn from one another and we also learn by surfing Internet sites. For some, they are drawn to the lifestyle. Most of the people who have been in the lifestyle for a long time have developed a certain "quality" and "wisdom" and "calmness" about them. New people have illusions and excitement, and Hormones a flow- in. LOL!
What me study?
A resounding YES! Yes we study! We read books on slavery, being a Master a Mistress a sub or switch, learning, evolving, growing. BDSM is alive! It is not a game. No, do not get me wrong, BDSM is fun, and very stimulating, but let us not fail to learn, grow and evolve. When I came to the lifestyle all I wanted to do was learn, learn, learn. I read all the books about the lifestyle. I discussed my thoughts and feelings, my needs, wants and desires. I went from classroom to classroom, keeping my mouth gagged and my ears open. I found that learning and study about the lifestyle is as seductive as the lifestyle itself.
Whats it about?
Many people , from people in the lifestyle to others who are not, seem to focus on the acts of hitting, humiliation, or other "bizarre" behaviors. Some focus on the obedience and the rules and the dress and toys of the lifestyle. Very few get the message of what the lifestyle is truly about.
You can bet your sweet butt that If I am going to be tied to a St. Andrews Cross and being prepared for a scene or a punishment, I am going to have to have TRUST in the person who holds the whip or paddle. So part of the answer is TRUST! Here are some of the other elements that should be present in your lifestyle relationships and play: Love, sexuality, compassion, purpose, understanding, knowledge and some common sense.
That is a picture worth knowing about and holding on to.
Once upon a time I was a real slave. No bull, no crap, a real slave who was to be naked on entering my house, and on call 24/7 in service to my Mistress /wife. It took several years to create the relationship we shared. Our relationship was strong and lasted for 32 years. As we grew we began to disconnect as husband and wife and soon we would separate as Mistress and slave. What we had done was to rest in what we had, creating "static". With many relationships not growing, not evolving, not learning, and not playing creates boredom and stagnancy. We can not stay still in a relationship. We either grow, learn, and keep our relationships fresh and exciting or we find ourselves unhappy and alone.
My wife eventually met a young male of 28, she was 42 and I soon became her cuckold. When our relationship was coming to an end I was castrated, (in the lifestyle) by my Wife and Mistress. My testicles were given to her new slave and I was abandon. I had failed to evolve, to grow, to study, to learn, and to be exciting. I had fallen into the "comfort zone". She, however, wanted more of what we had shared in our first 32 years of our relationship. All has worked out, and even today, everyday, I study, I explore, I examine, and I keep each day a new day and an exciting day. That is what I find as the answer to: Whats it all about? I would be interested t know what you think. MW.
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