We all will make many choices today. Some of the choices we make, seem not to be choices, but I assure you they are. Did you know we can actually choose how we feel. Yes that is a fact. The problem is, that for most of us we do not believe that we can make those choices. We will discuss this unknown fact in today's article. We will also be looking at how we become what we become, what we like and dislike in the sexual arena. Enjoy!
We are a summation of the choices we make. We are happy or sad, angry or at peace, we are healthy or diseased, by the very things we choose in our lives. The "How WE Feel" thinking is not a mistake nor is it done randomly. WE CHOOSE! Have you ever heard? She made me feel that way? He hit me and I feel very worthless. Yes we say these things all the time. We empower others to "make us feel" the way we do. Now think about that. Is that how we want to live? Do we wish to spend our times being dictated by others how to feel and when to feel certain ways? I do not think anyone wants to be manipulated like that. The sad fact is that this is how we act.
Are we really victims? Do we really have to "take it", "take it in" and react to the stimuli? DO WE? The answer is a resounding NO! We do not have to be victims, unless we choose to be victims. I will repeat that! We do not have to be victims unless we choose to be victims! It saddens me in my practice to see so many people who allow someone or something rule their emotions. Who owns your emotions? Do you? Do others? If the answer is You own your own emotions, then it is time for you to take control of them and change the choices you are making. You no longer have to be a leaf in the wind. You CAN Empower yourself to choose.
You are in a dungeon. A Dom or Master tells you that you can not do anything right. How do you feel? Well I will say you feel upset, down, misunderstood and angry. " How can he say this to me, he doesn't even know me?" "How dare he?" What do you do with those thoughts and the feelings produced by them? Well at first you must acknowledge them. Once you have done that, you are on your way to changing your victim thinking. Once you have acknowledged them, think about what was said, and think about what part you played in getting those comments. Now your cooking! You have already taken the steps to change emotions into thought. You are thinking not reacting. Your getting good at this. The next thing that you must do is weigh how important these comments are to you. So... how important are they to you? Then decide do I want to invest my energy into these feelings or thoughts? Do I want to allow someone to dictate my emotions. See the emotions as energy in motion. Now you may dismiss the feelings, and choose new thoughts. Choose not to allow this energy rule you. I like to visualize myself blowing them out of my mouth and into the cosmos. You will still have what I call "fall out". In other words, you may still feel icky. That is OK and that is normal. That will also dissipate in time. Get BUSY. Yes get busy doing something you like. When your mind goes back to the incident and you start feeling, those negative feelings say the words, Cancel, Cancel. The more practice you have the more this will work for you. Don't get discouraged. Keep working on it. It does work.
Why do we need to know this in the BDSM lifestyle?
In our lifestyle we are dealing with emotionally charged activities. We are touching areas of our brains as well as our bodies. We are looking for "the deeper" experience, or better Dom or Sub space. In so doing we are exposing ourselves to altered states of consciousness. It is therefore, better for us to be able to think in a positive and logical ways. Clear thinking, clear mind, happy experience. It is important to understand ourselves and how our minds work. It is also important to reclaim control of our thinking when we leave the BDsM "head space".
This Is a MW production 2009c written for: 411bdsm.com
If you are having emotional issues, please contact a mental health care professional in person.
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