Well it's Monday Morning, January 12, 2009. I thought it might be fun to discuss the similarities and differences of being a Slave and being a Submissive.
I KNOW that anything I write is subject to interpretation and to OPINIONS and to History of the lifestyle. There are "Old Timers" who see it one way, and there are "New timers" that see it other ways. Nobody needs to blow any ones head off for having their own thoughts and own way of doing something. One man's ceiling is another man's floor. So with out further delay, her we go!!!!
A-Bit- O- History
I love history. History actually forms the present and is based on experiences and practice. So....
Once upon a time, there was an entity called "The Leather Community". This community was made up mostly of sexually free, open minded people who wished to live in the way that felt comfortable for them. In the past this was a VERY BOLD position and statement. We owe "The Leather Community" much. Most likely we would not be here today, hadn't they did what they did. This community was made up of mostly Gay Males, and found in Gay establishments. Clad in Leather and loyal to their needs, wants and desires. Key word.. THEIR.
This is not to say that it was not a struggle, for it was. Again we owe that community thanks, and our respect! The bdsm movement grew out of their lifestyle. BDSM was an outgrowth of the sexual freedom movement and the Leather community.
Old Guard Rules
Words to describe the rules: Tough, Inflexible, Scary, Sexual, Demanding.
Editors note: Long ago there were was no "safe sex" many members of the Leather community were caught with their pants down for AIDS and other ST D's.
In other words, back then, THE RULES WERE THE RULES!
What was and is still kinda sweet was the formality and protocol of that lifestyle movement. Today's BDSM movement is loosely based on the protocol and discipline of the "Old Guard" movement.
Slaves in the 'Old Guard Movement
Slaves were slaves. Nothing more than a piece of furniture, a toy, a thing, a sexual reciprocal who was to obey. There was no provision for inability to perform. You simply did what you were told, or pay the consequences. If your Master told you to do oral sex on a friend of his, you did it with grace and style. Always polite, always dutiful, always on task. If someone wished to have anal sex with you and your Master commanded you to do that, you did it and you were happy about it. No attitude, no opinion, you did what you were told. Slaves were conditioned to obey. There was very little psychological thinking. Most everything was based on pleasure of the Master. If you disobeyed you were punished and hurt to the point that you were conditioned not to fail again. I do not judge those things. I am only reporting what is known of those days.
How many people today can match what was done in the "Old Guard" times? I do not believe that many people can or even try and attempt to live up to those expectations. Slaves of today are based for the most part in the Vanilla World and are slaves when time and situation dictates. Not to say that they do not know their purpose or their place 24/7 but today's world is different than long ago. Today in a two party family were both people work to maintain a household it is very hard to be a slave in total. There are children to feed and most slaves today are reality based. I do not know of to many Kemp Slaves, who do nothing but serve their owners. Those situations are few and far between. In some of those situations the " Old Guard" philosophy and practices are alive and well. On the whole, however, there has been a switch away from iron clad rules and practices. HERE IT IS! HERE IS WERE THE DEBATE BEGINS. If a slave can make choices, if a slave can say no, if a slave can at times debate and bargain with his or her Master or Mistress, Are they a slave? Are they a submissive?
Submissives have the latitude to make decissions, have discussions, and to have safe words. Slaves do not, (according to the Old Guard) . Submissives need no permission to do anything they wish to do. They run their own lives and episodically surrender to their husbands or wives, Mistresses or Masters.
So whats the Rub.
The rub is that according to some, if you are not TOTALLY under the control 24/7 of your Master or Mistress, have no say, have no purpose but to do your duty for them, live for them and obey them 24/7 you are not a slave. You are defined as a submissive. A submissive then is defined as a player and nothing more. If you serve without the proper protocol, you are not a slave or a submissive but just a player with no purpose.
So cut off my head!
With all due respect to everyone in the lifestyle I will stick my neck out. I know it might get whapped off but I am willing to state what I believe and what I believe in.
As a mental health care provider and a slave in the present bdsm lifestyle I have my own thoughts on these issues. Slavery is a marvelous and wonderful freedom. Not many of us will ever have the opportunity to share in that TOTAL EXPERIENCE. Most of us will be called submissive by the all mighty "Authority" of the Lifestyle.
We may not know who they are and what they look like, but they are there just the same. I have been called a submissive, because I seek sane, consensual play, and when I am sick, I expect down time. When I work, I need to work at full capacity. I also do not need to EVER ! EVER! EVER! put my health in jeopardy by the will of a Master or Mistress. If this makes me a submissive, so be it.
An Enlightened View
I know who I am and what I am. My Mistress and my Heart will define for me who and what I am. Relationships of any kind need flexibility, open mindedness, balance, love, affection, and service to one another. Nothing in the BDSM lifestyle is written in stone. We all can create, label, and share our dreams and thoughts without changing who we are. For myself, within my being is a slaves heart. I am nothing more or less than a slave. My purpose is to serve and to make my Mistress happy. I respect the Dom's. Dome' Mistresses and Masters. I yield to them out of my respect for them. I do not have to be owned by them to respect them. I serve them as I would severe my own Mistress. I will kneel to them, address them with a formal protocol, for my Slaves Heart demands that of me. I demand that from myself also. Mine is a blend that works for me, works for them, and there we meet on a common ground. I also have learned when to back off and when to offer an opinion. I ask for permission to speak and to speak freely, I kneel when I serve them food or drink. I speak when spoken to. I look down unless invited to gaze on their face or look into their eyes. It is up to every ones own wants needs and desires to choose whats right for them and for their Masters or Mistresses.
We all are missing something in the lifestyle. We miss community, we miss love and loving and understanding each other. We are quick to judge, long on softening our ideas and positions. We are sometimes in Crisis Management and we isolate ourselves in our own small groups without extending warmth and welcome to the new comer. Sounds to me like the Vanilla world. We are not supposed to be the Vanilla World. We are the BDSM Community! We are supposed to OPEN and WILLING and LOVING! Let us all think about these things as the debate continues.
A MW. Production 2009c. written for 411bdsm.com
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