Friday, January 30, 2009

Ok Here is the Deal!

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

IT'S YOUR TURN!

IT'S YOUR TURN!!!! 1/29/09

It is your turn. I am asking all of you to send questions , comments, concerns about the lifestyle, specific areas of the lifestyle, fetish life, mechanical questions, emotional questions and questions and topics you wish to read about. In the next few weeks I will post these questions and I will answer them. Your anonymity will be protected.
Send your questions etc. to:four11bdsm@yahoo.com
I am also searching for real bdsm stories of all types. The one requirement is: KEEP IT REAL! thank you, MARK

Counselors Corner is a MW production2009c in association with 411bdsm.com
If you are having any mental health care issues please seek profesional help inperson

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Topic For Today Is; NUTS! NUTS! NUTS!

Nuts! Well there are the nuts that males have, although some don't have any balls at all. There are the nuts that females have, ovaries. Then there are the nuts like peanuts, walnuts, pistachio nuts and then there is the question... "Am I nuts?" "Are we nuts?"

How many?

How many people in the bdsm lifestyle, slaves or Masters or Mistresses have at one time or another asked themselves: "Am I nuts?" "Is my partner nuts?" It is funny, but I believe at one time or another we all ask ourselves or others those questions. First a slave, I have asked myself that question more than one time. In fact, how many of you have actually taken a leave of absence from the lifestyle, only to find out, that you can not escape it, and it will not leave you? It will change with time, and will evolve. Our "lifestyle genes" will eventually come back stronger than ever before.

Back to the "nuts" or ovaries, or little nuts

Well????? we all have em don't we? I mean sexual organs. Last time I looked I had mine, do u have yours? The hormones that are produced by the testicles/male nuts and the hormones produced by the ovaries /female nuts, create Libido. Libido creates sexual drive, and determines the level of those drives. Developmental process determines, what is pleasurable and what we perceive as needs, wants, and desires. Warning. One of the interesting things about Libido and hormone levels is the fact, that there are many males and females without testicles or ovaries but they still crave the sexual life and are very sexual in nature. The reason this stands as a warning is that if you wish to shed your libido the loss of your testicles or ovaries you may not accomplish that with their removal.

The body is sneaky

The human body acts and reacts, on a self driven level at times. We call that involuntary reaction. Heart beats, lungs breath, kidney's filter. We do not have to think about those things, they happen on their own. It is also the case with the brain. It creates hormones in the adrenal glands and hypo-thalamus. When the body looses something it will try to recreate it somewhere else in the body. The body can never catch up to the levels of hormones lost by castration male or female, but it will adjust itself and hormones can and will be produced.

Evolution

The question evolves into this: Am I nuts? or Am I comfortable inside of my mind, heart and soul, and body? If you are in the lifestyle, and you are content, well adjusted, not in conflict or crisis management, then are you nuts? I would say not. If you are in the lifestyle and your relationships harm your well being, you hate yourself and everyone around you, your mental state is out of control, and you can't decide to stay or go, but you stay. Yes ! You need help. Nuts... nah!!! Human. Yes!

AMWproduction2009c written for, 411bdsm.com 2009c
If you are having mental health care issues, go and see a mental health care provider.
We encourage comments and questions and concerns to this collum. If you would like to contact Mark, please contact him at four11bdsm@yahoo.com

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Topic For Today Is: "What's it all About?"

What is it "all" about? What I am asking is what is the BDsM lifestyle all about? Do you know? What are your beliefs about the lifestyle? Do you really want to know?

Do you really know? Have you studied, been mentored, taught, trained, have an open mind? Sorry to say that several records and surveys indicate that the answer is a resounding NO to many of these questions. So we get to the lifestyle by chance for most of us. We learn from one another and we also learn by surfing Internet sites. For some, they are drawn to the lifestyle. Most of the people who have been in the lifestyle for a long time have developed a certain "quality" and "wisdom" and "calmness" about them. New people have illusions and excitement, and Hormones a flow- in. LOL!

What me study?

A resounding YES! Yes we study! We read books on slavery, being a Master a Mistress a sub or switch, learning, evolving, growing. BDSM is alive! It is not a game. No, do not get me wrong, BDSM is fun, and very stimulating, but let us not fail to learn, grow and evolve. When I came to the lifestyle all I wanted to do was learn, learn, learn. I read all the books about the lifestyle. I discussed my thoughts and feelings, my needs, wants and desires. I went from classroom to classroom, keeping my mouth gagged and my ears open. I found that learning and study about the lifestyle is as seductive as the lifestyle itself.

Whats it about?

Many people , from people in the lifestyle to others who are not, seem to focus on the acts of hitting, humiliation, or other "bizarre" behaviors. Some focus on the obedience and the rules and the dress and toys of the lifestyle. Very few get the message of what the lifestyle is truly about.
You can bet your sweet butt that If I am going to be tied to a St. Andrews Cross and being prepared for a scene or a punishment, I am going to have to have TRUST in the person who holds the whip or paddle. So part of the answer is TRUST! Here are some of the other elements that should be present in your lifestyle relationships and play: Love, sexuality, compassion, purpose, understanding, knowledge and some common sense.
That is a picture worth knowing about and holding on to.

Personal note.

Once upon a time I was a real slave. No bull, no crap, a real slave who was to be naked on entering my house, and on call 24/7 in service to my Mistress /wife. It took several years to create the relationship we shared. Our relationship was strong and lasted for 32 years. As we grew we began to disconnect as husband and wife and soon we would separate as Mistress and slave. What we had done was to rest in what we had, creating "static". With many relationships not growing, not evolving, not learning, and not playing creates boredom and stagnancy. We can not stay still in a relationship. We either grow, learn, and keep our relationships fresh and exciting or we find ourselves unhappy and alone.
My wife eventually met a young male of 28, she was 42 and I soon became her cuckold. When our relationship was coming to an end I was castrated, (in the lifestyle) by my Wife and Mistress. My testicles were given to her new slave and I was abandon. I had failed to evolve, to grow, to study, to learn, and to be exciting. I had fallen into the "comfort zone". She, however, wanted more of what we had shared in our first 32 years of our relationship. All has worked out, and even today, everyday, I study, I explore, I examine, and I keep each day a new day and an exciting day. That is what I find as the answer to: Whats it all about? I would be interested t know what you think. MW.

This is a MW production2009c, written and produced for: 411bdsm.com
If you are having mental health care issues, please seek out professional help, in person.
We encourage comments, questions and suggestions.
If you would like to contact Mark for any Private issues including relationship issues, bdsm issues please contact him at four11bdsm@yahoo.com



Monday, January 26, 2009

The Topic For Today is: Desperate

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Topic for Today Is: Emotions/Feelings

Feelings are not right are wrong, they are feelings. Emotions are nothing more of less than Energy-n-Motion. These are powerful statements. We shall look at these subjects today.

Feelings

So what are the major feelings. Well there is: sadness, glad, happy, anger, fear, depression and hate. There are many sub areas of feelings. All of our feelings come from one place. Clinically speaking, feelings come from our brains. We can carry that to the heart center too, but feelings are generated by chemicals reacting to stimuli in the brain. Feelings are no more or less than thoughts. POWERFUL THOUGHTS!

Motivation

Feelings motivate us to act. Feelings motivate us to act in certain ways. In the lifestyle, seeing as we are intensifying our consciousness we must be aware of, how we are feeling. The key word for feeling and action is balanced. You do not want to scene when you are angry. Anger is one of the most powerful emotions. Anger is also known as an unbridled emotion. I have had one experience with an Angry Mistress and the results where not pleasant for me, and the aftermath was not pleasant for her either. The best time to play is when we are in the emotional middle ground. BALANCED.

Emotions

To Emote our feelings is to "give off" certain signals that others can feel, see, and detect. When we enter a dungeon or play space it is always best to "Feel" out the situation before we play. Do you feel safe, comfortable?, "at home"? Are you afraid?
Are you anxious? Are the people friendly and warm? Do you feel a part of, rather than alone. All of these emotions should be felt, observed, and acted upon accordingly.

Are you the Master of your Emotions?

Most of us are not the Masters of our emotions. Even the Masters are not totally in charge of how they handle their feelings. I hear a lot of people saying, "She made me feel". "He made me feel". These statements tell us and show that the people saying these things have no concept of them being the Master of their own feelings. You can choose how you feel with work, concentration, and desire. For us in the lifestyle it is a good idea to master our feelings, realize that they are thoughts and that we can control them. Eventually we can actually decide how we wish to feel.

Concusion
We live everyday with our feelings. Like anything, feelings can be controled, modulated and molded. It is up to all of us to become reponcible about how we use and show our feelings.

WARNING!
IF YOU PLAY WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY, YOU WILL BE PUTTING ALL PLAYERS IN JEOPARDY.

this is an MW production2009c written and published for 411bdsm.com
If you are having mental issues please contact a health care professional in person
We encourage comments, questions and your thoughts.
If you have personal lifestyle issues contact Mark at four11bdsm@yahoo.com

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Topic For Today is: Phonies

We all know about the Goonies. I also think that many of us know about phonies.
That is right! Phonies! Wind! Liars! Fakes! Manipulators! Heart Breakers! PHONIES!

I know why.

Yes I know why the net fosters phonies. I know why BDSM sites, chat rooms, and email breed phonies. People like to live in their fantasies. They like to lurk in the dark. They can and do lead effective phony lives where they can be a MASTER an Authority, a slave, without doing a single thing but lie and fantasize. Some have Internet affairs and masturbate and use the net for sexual release. There are many more reasons, but these seem to be the main reasons.

Sad but true

Phonies, liars and fakes hurt us all. More than hurting everyone, there are individuals both male and female that are lied to, manipulated and used for the satisfaction of others. Wankers, wank and plan and manipulate the lonely. HEARTS GET BROKEN! TEARS ARE SHED! PEOPLE GET HURT!

The Predators

The predators are split lived schizophrenics, boarder line personality disordered, and aggressive. Some do not even know who they are. Most don't know what they want. Some can not, and will not ever meet who they have been e-mailing and I'M ing. They always figure a way out, always leaving the ruin of their ways on the people they have lied to.

The Prey

Yes! Prey! I will pray for all of those who are alone, lonely and in pain. A quick fix, of a relationship seems to be their answer. I can not say enough about these relationships that foster dreams and fantasies and leave ruin and destruction in there paths. I do not know a way to fix this for the many who suffer from broken promises, lies and deception. All I can say is be aware. Know that the wolves hunt, capture, and destroy their prey. If you wish to take that risk, then be cautious in your quest to find what you are searching for.

Instant Masters, Slaves and Subs.

I want to be a Master! I want to be a slave! She wants to be a Mistress! No problem, no problem at all. Just go on to the web read a few fictional articles, a few videos of slaves being beaten, forced to do unrealistic things, having sex with any Master or Mistress that orders it done. No common sense at all, just action, action, action. Stupidity with no respect for life, feelings, humankind, or sanity. This is not the way to learn. It is corrupt with excitement with very little reality, if any at all.

I am sorry.
I am sorry for those who believe the crap and practices, that are put onto the willing. I am sorry for the slaves and subs who blindly obey the ones who know nothing and pass themselves off as Masters/Mistresses. I am sorry for the Masters and Mistresses who are disappointed by slaves and subs coming to live with them, that never show up. Yes I am sorry. All of us need to be sorry and aware of what lurks in our community.

Duty Calls

This site, 411bdsm.co is being developed for REAL LIFESTYLE PEOPLE. It is our duty to listen and be aware of the fakes and phonies. When the Real People find something that doesn't add up, it is thrust upon us to act. Please contact Mistress Lynn, or Mark Wise/ spankey or a Board Member. Let's do our part to stop the damage that we all suffer from. Remember the fakes hurt our lifestyle, and tarnish what we are really all about. It is not funny, it is very damaging and sad.

This is a MW production written for and produced for 411bdsm.co
If you are having emotional issues, please contact a mental health care professional, in person
We encourage and open forum. We would like to hear from you. If you would like to write MW about your personal issues please write to: four11bdsm@yahoo.com

Monday, January 19, 2009

Todays Topic Is Laughter

Good morning! Tell me, what does laughter have to do with BDSM and the lifestyle...anyway????? I will share with you, but only if you promise to laugh.



Facts:



Facts only the facts Son.

OK! OK! OK! already!

Did you know that the American Bureau of Insurance states that 6 seconds of Laughter and a 6 second hug each day produces less car accidents?

Studies at John Hopkins University show conclusively that heart rate and central nervous system and respiration are affected in a positive way when someone is laughing.

Other studies indicate that a great deal of stress is reduced due to laughter.

This is all valid and validated information.



Why is laughter important for the bdsm lifestyle?

I'd like to ask, why is laughter seemingly absent in many dungeons and play scenes?

Maybe we forget that we are in the lifestyle for FUN and enjoyment. Well I am here to remind you. The human being, the mind body and soul, calls out to be happy, in harmony, and in sync. with the universe. Laughter is an important component of our very existence.



A story



As I have shared with you before. iIam a slave. My Mistress does not always play with me. She actually likes to watch, more than she likes to play. I am blessed in that I have many Mistresses that like to play with me in the dungeon. One of my very first times playing with a Mistress other than my Mistress was very very funny. I did not see the funny things then, well maybe a little bit, but what a memory of fun and laughter. I was given to a Mistress Jane. She is a wonderful Mistress, lifestyle Dome and a teacher. She has become a very good friend over the years. After I signed the release forms the party began. She had me strip naked and I was lead to the horse. I was bent over, and chained down to the four legs of the horse. My but high in the air, my heart pounding, a crowd watching on to see spankey "get his".... a fart.... I farted.... My face red as a Beet my heart pounding, Mistress comes to my head and raises it up. Mistress asks, "What do you say?" I didn't know what to say. Well... errr well... I'm sorry Mistress. Mistress then said, " Not good enough" Oh shit, now what, I thought. She bellowed, " I'm waiting slave"! "Excuse Me Mistress! Ah a smile from Mistress. "It's OK ,my boy, lots of slaves get nervous and pass gas." I was humiliated to death. :) As I raised my posture to accept my session....Fart. :) Mistress beat my butt with a zest and zeal that I had not experienced before. It was wonderful! after the entire session, we all sat around and laughed for hours. fffffart. LOL

Conclusion

Laughter is the nectar of life. Some of the activities we partake in are serious and need complete focus. I always try and remember I am in the lifestyle for the celebration. What celebration, can ever be complete, without laughter?

AMWproduction 2009c written and produced for 411bdsm.com
If you are having mental health issues please contact a mental health care professional in person.
we encourage comments questions and dialogue
If you wish to discuss your personal issues contact Mark at: four11bdsm@yahoo.com

Todays Topic Is Laughter

Friday, January 16, 2009

Play Time???

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Topic For Today is Discovery and Therapy

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Topic For Today Is: Choices and Discoveries

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Topic For Today is, Anal Penitration/Sex

Attention! Attention! There will be NO Counselors Corner Today. It will return tommrrow. Stay tunned. MW.

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Topic For Today is: Slaves/Subs

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Friday, January 9, 2009

Todays Topic is: Adult Babies

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Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Fetish Of Today Is: Peircing & Cutting

I am going to lump these two Fetishes together. Different in action, yes, Psychologically different, not. The need, want, desire to cut or pierce is what is called: "Edge Play". I do agree with that explanation. Piercing and Cutting are not for the faint of heart. Again I can not stress the importance of education before action. If mistakes are made with this kind of play, the consequences can be life threatening. Some piercings and cuttings are permanent.

Piercing & Cutting

Both of these fetishes, are power trips that are expressed in absolute ways. There are many variables for both, when viewed separately. Both of these fetishes take time to learn, time to execute, and time for adjustment of the mindset of the people involved. Both of these fetishes are breath taking, and create a sense of awe in spectators, heavy excitment for the paticipants, and changes within all invloved.

History

Cutting and Piercing have been around for a very long time. Slaves have been marked, pierced and even branded throughout recorded history. Some forms of branding, piercing and cuttings, were also used as decorative additions For Kings and Queens and Royalty for many centuries. The methods used long ago were crude, unsanitary and caused many deaths by infections that could not be controlled. Even when having ears, tongues, lips, pierced in those times,simple procedures for today, literally meant taking your life into your own hands. Tribes all around the world used piercing and cutting rituals. Piercing and Cuttings are, therefore not new to our culture. What is NEW is the diseases that are active in our time. Aids, Herpes1,2,3, STDS. GET IT? When ever there are bodily fluids involved BEWARE!

How/ Cutting

Well how now brown cow? To play these games, and to do a scene we need two WILLING people. Cooperation between the Top and Bottom is essential. Communication must be exact in nature at all times. Once the people have been chosen you will need: different gauge needles, disinfectant, gauze pads, sutures for large cuttings, scalpels, knives, Novocain/ Lydocain. a consent form, a place to lay down or a chair for the subject to sit in. The "Ole" Band-Aid are also good to have around. Deepness of the cutting must be discussed with all involved, as will size of the cutting, body placement and permanence. Do not think for a minute that you can be cut at 9:00pm and be healed by 4:00 AM. Once you engage in these types of scenes, the changes are close to being permanent. The slave lays down. The Arms and legs tied to the corners of the table. Let us say that we are going to cut the arm in this scene. The Top/Master/ Mistress will run the tip of the instrument up and down the shape chosen to out line that shape and to stimulate the subject. Eventually the top will exert more pressure to create the cut and the depth of the cut. It can be painful and it can be very pleasurable for both parties. After the cutting is finished the top will apply an anti-bacterial ointment. Some anti-bacterials actually create scaring, so ask your pharmacist before purchasing the oinment of salve.

How/Piercing

The first half of the above paragraph explains the basics for piercing also.
The differences are: the insertion of the needle, duration of the time the needle is left in or taken out. Bleeding is somewhat lighter in nature. Piercings may also involve Body Jewelry. Can be very sensual, erotic, and painful for the bottom, as well as ,exhilarating for the top.

Why Piercings/Cuttings/Brandings?

Like stated before, many times, the Human Mind is an awesome and wonderful thing.
What the mind thinks up ,knows only the limits we place upon it. As fetishes are developed in our childhood and development stages, as we discover them, the drive to engage in them becomes known. If the drive is strong, we may find the desire to engage in these fetish behavior. These kinds of actions satisfy desire, sexuality, pleasure, eroticism and peace for the parties involved. Most of all playing is fun. I think we all like fun and play. Did you know that marking anyone in anyway, created bonding and pocession of that couple to one another? Well it does. Becareful who your partner at all times.

One More Warning

The area you play in should be sterile/clean.
Aids and ST D's are the gifts that keep on giving.
Staff infections of today, don't die easily
Permanent changes in mind, body and soul.
Becareful who you are playing with. KNOW THEM.

This is a MW Production 2009 written for 411bdsm.com
If you are experiencing Mental health issues, please contact a mental health care professional.
We encourage questions, comments, and personal issues directed at the blog as well as contacting MW @ four11bdsm@yahoo.com
Anonymity will be protected.