Good day to all. "We are only as "sick" as our secrets". In a lifestyle that demands and fosters honesty, why do we keep secrets from one another? Why do some tell small fibs, leave out important details of our lives and do not disclose important information to their partners, play partners, the BDSM community and our friends? The very act of keeping secrets can cause damage and harm to all of those involved. Here are some of the reasons why we keep secrets. Embarrassment. In actuality embarrassment, means to bear your ass in fear for wrong doing of one kind or another. We do not like to be embarrassed, (some humiliated). Another reason we keep secrets is that we do not wish to face consequences. We perceive loss and pain when it comes to consequences. In the person to person, Slave to Master relationship we can be punished, but worse off our partner can loose trust in us. We also have a need to be accepted by our partner, our friends, and the community. This is a big price to pay for some, and so secretes are born. You may want to ask yourselves: Do I keep secrets?
Why do I keep secrets? Do secrets enhance my being, or hurt my being? All of these questions need to be examined for the BDSM relationship to flourish. Here is an example of one secrete that almost cost a life.
I was at a festival. it was wonderful and the community was a special community. All levels of people in the lifestyle. We all sat down at a very nice banquet. After the banquet a huge play area was to be opened for the evening. My Mistress was busy talking so the piece of equipment she had me reserve was already taken. As I stood there I watched a young woman being bent over the Horse. Arms extended to her ankles with the Horse in between. She was then shackled to the legs of the Horse by both her arms and legs. Her buttocks was high in the air, a very beautiful sight to behold. Very Round shapely butt, creamy white skin, soft as a babies ass. I stood and watched. Her Master had spent many hours with her talking and exploring, and now was to be the final trail for ownership. Master asked her if there was anything she wished to tell him, share with him, and even if she did not want to go through with what was about to come. She replied, that she was there to become owned by him and that she loved him unconditionaly and was ready. He began to flog her at first. Then a Quart was used. The taus cut into her flesh like a knife through butter. Then came the cane. The session lasted an hour and a half. Tears of silence ran down her face, she even urinated on the mat as the pain was powerful and concise. When he was done, her buttocks, thighs, inside and out and her back where cut, welted, and she was bleeding. At first nobody noticed, but the slave was beginning to go into shock. As an emergency technician in an Emergency Department, I called 911, told them that we had an injury. They showed up and began to administer IV fluids. The Woman spent three days in the local hospital and she almost died. The reason she almost died was her big SECRETE. She is a Hemophiliac, a bleeder, someone who's blood does not clot. She had not told ANYONE this. In her quest , in her love, in her desire, she did not tell on herself and she almost died. Let me repeat this. SHE ALMOST DIED. In the end it all worked out after two units of blood, oxygen treatments, and a visit from a social worker and a psychiatrist. This case is an exception to the many cases I have studied, but I assure you it is real and it could have been deadly. Do we wish to keep our secrets even if it can harm or kill us. I do not think it is wise.
I wish to share one other case with you. I know a lifestyle slave who suffers from depression. She was abused by her father and older brother. She met a man in the lifestyle. Soon she showed up at the dungeon with him and became a part of the community. She was asked to join in a role playing session demonstration. As it turned out it was a scene where she would be abused, spanked, and humiliated. The demonstration was innocent, nobody was supposed to get hurt and only play acting was to go on. That is what went on, until the young Woman went into a Panic Attack as she had a flashback to her childhood. She did not share her secret. She was calmed down, and was taken to the Emergency Department. She was very disorientated, scared and she also had become hysterical. Again strange? I think not. WE ARE ONLY AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS. What secrets are you holding? M.K.
IF YOU ARE HAVING EMOTIONAL ISSUES, PLEASE CONTACT AND GO SEE IN PERSON, A MENTAL HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL.
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