Just three more days until Christmas. Did you know that at Christmas there are more Emergency room visits for depression than at any other time of the year? A feeling of being lost, confusion, anxiety, panic attacks loom large in our lives. To me that is a sad fact. I have worked the Emergency Department and I can tell you that this plays itself our each year.
You may ask, so? You may ask what this has to do with the lifestyle? The so, is, it affects us also. Loved ones, partners, children, wives, husbands all are affected by the malaise of depression and moods that others feel. We often seem lost and don't know what to tell a loved one, a friend, what to do. We can become lost ourselves if not aware. So???? So, what then is the answer?
The answer comes in the form of something that we don't talk about much in the lifestyle. We may profess it, we may give it lip service, or we may not talk about it at all. We surely need to show it,in a recognizable way, but yet we don't. We say we do, but all indications are we don't. The missing element is a pulic show of LOVE! "The Cure" is LOVE. Illusive yes! Complicated yes! Worth everything we can do to show and practice Love, YES! Partners allow one another to assume it, and don't say the words, "I LOVE YOU" enough!
DON'T JUST SIT THERE!
Most of the people who visit the Emergency Rooms, feel unloved, not worth anything, a lone, and especially UN-loved. Our own meeting rooms in the lifestyle have single men and woman unaccepted by anyone in the room. The most important thing in the lifestyle,as I was taught, is the acceptance and Love of others. Getting outside of ourselves to say "hi,"like to meet you," or "come join us," sit down and get to know us," or, " tell us about yourself". All of these words can actually save a life, a soul or even a world.
When Love is left out of our lifestyle on a community level, and then left out with out expressing to a partner or even another player, we are the losers. We become inside of ourselves, living in an illusion, a lonely illusion, an unloving illusion.
A Story of Love
I am not a stranger to the lifestyle. I have a Dome'that I love. We play and have played many times at home in the Dungeon and at private parties. On a trip to the Dungeon she mentioned to me she would like my God Mother Dome'to work with me. I was OK with that, ( Like I had a choice. LOL!) Anyway I was hoisted up on the Saint Andrews Cross, I was actually undressed right there by my Dome'. I usually undress myself. I was then told that Miss Lori was going to do the honors.
The two Dome's had a conference, right in front of me. I could hear snippets of what was being said. I was very excited and yet scared. I was told that this was to be a punishment session. (Sh-t) It began with a flogger and ended up with, the Evil Stick. I was welted, bruised and worn. I hurt and I was crying like a child by the time they were done with me. I also had that feeling that I crave so much. You might have experienced it yourself.
What kept me going?
What kept me going was the petting, the affectionate touching, their caring and the love that they kept showing me. Miss Lori took the time to let me know I was loved and that she wanted me to be happy and how happy I was making her. My wife stepped up several times to inspect her slave, but she also was inspecting her loving partner and she showed this to me. I often try and tell Vanilla's that it's not about the whipping or the hitting, or being tied up. It is about the Love which is made up of trust, care, sensitivity, and knowing that I belong, that I matter. Even though the tears flowed freely for all to see and my breathing was that of a hysterical child... I knew... I knew.... I was loved and I belonged.
The aftercare was wonderful. I was kissed and hugged and a tremendous amount of affection and expressions of love were part of the experience. I find that my mind can allow me to take the pain, (which I need) to keep me disciplined and in line, for the LOVE that is returned in kind.
I know this colum is new. I know you do not know me, nor do I know you. I ask for your comments and your own experiences as well as personal questions to be shared so we all can grow in this marvelous journey called the BDSM Lifestyle. MK
Anyone experiencing mental health issues or problems, please contact a local mental health care professional
This is an MK production, written for: 411bdsm
Any comments, questions, experiences are welcome. Anonymity will be honored.